The Inspector General’s review was launched by complaints coming from valued senior employees who felt that the Bush Program (as John Yoo has dubbed it) was wrong. One of them actually expresses his worry that those involved will be hauled before the World Court at some point because of [and that’s redacted!]
Scott Horton
Harper's Magazine
August 25, 2009
Central Intelligence Agency
Inspector General’s Review of Counterterrorism Detention and Interrogation Practices
Appendix H
TRANSCRIPT OF CONVERSATION BETWEEN PRESIDENT BUSH, VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY AND CIA DIRECTOR GEORGE TENET, WHITE HOUSE SITUATION ROOM, AUGUST 25, 2002
DIRECTOR TENET ENTERS THE ROOM
The President: Hey, Georgie, how’s it shaking?
Director Tenet: We have tried that, Mr. President. But I’m afraid it hasn’t produced the results we'd hoped for.
The President: Tried what?
Director Tenet: Shaking them, sir. We followed the protocols we got from the [redacted] to the letter but . . .
The President: Shaking who?
Director Tenet: The detainees, Mr. President.
The President: Sorry, I’m not following you.
Vice President: (interrupting) He’s just wants to know how you’re doing, George.
Director Tenet: Oh. Fine, Mr. President. I’m fine.
Vice President: OK. Great. Everybody's [redacted] fine. Now can we please get to the [redacted] point here? Addington tells me the agency isn’t on board with our [redacted] program.
Director Tenet: We prefer to call it the enhanced interrogation program, sir.
Vice President: You can call it whatever the [redacted] you want, George. But what I – I mean, what the president and I want to know is when the [redacted] are your people going to get serious about it?
The President: Yeah.
Director Tenet: Well, sir, some of our interrogators are worried about their legal liability . . .
Vice President: Don’t bull[redacted] us, George. We already know what the problem is – you’ve got a bunch of mother[redacted] pansy[redacted] liberals out there who don’t have the stomach for this kind of work. [Redacted] whining about the [redacted] World Court! Like the CIA ever gave a rat's [redacted] about the World Court! You gotta get a grip on things over there, George – put their [redacted] in a [redacted] vise if you have to.
The President: Yeah. A [redacted] vise.
Director Tenet: You mean the detainees?
Vice President: Them too! This stuff you’ve been sending over is [redacted] useless. Addington tells me there was nothing in that last transcript about [redacted] and 9/11. Not one [redacted] thing. Instead, your people just let the son of a [redacted] ramble on about the Saudis and their ties to [redacted] and [redacted] and the president's [multiple redactions]. Prince [redacted] had a [redacted] fit when he heard about that. And if anything leaks out about our own [redacted] to [redacted], the [redacted] is really going to hit the fan, big time.
The President: Big time.
Director Tenet: I am sorry about that, sir. We specifically told the interrogators to steer clear of anything related to [redacted] – not to mention your own dealings with [redacted] – but the FBI was in the room on that one and we had to play it straight.
Vice President: [Redacted] Mueller. Who the [redacted] does that [redacted] think he is? Elliot Ness?
The President: Hey, you know that scene in The Untouchables where he throws the guy off the roof? Maybe we could . . .
Vice President: (interrupts) Well, OK, that one's our problem. I’ll tell Gonzales to get next to Ashcroft and remind the little [redacted] who’s calling the [redacted] shots here.
The President: Damned right I'm calling the shots. It's in that Unitarian executive thingy Addington’s always going on about. Although I don’t know what’s so [redacted] special about the Unitarians . . .
Vice President: (interrupts) Listen, George.
The President: Yes?
Vice President: I meant the other George, you [redacted].
The President: I knew that.
Vice President: (to Director Tenet) I want to you and Addington to get with the [redacted]s and the [redacted]s PDQ and see what else they’ve got in their bag of tricks that we can use. I don’t give a [redacted] what it is or how much [redacted] it leaves on the floor. Power drills, nail guns . . .
The President: You doin' some renovatin’ on the ol’ secure location, Dick? Heck, if you need tools . . .
Vice President: (continuing) . . . car batteries, blow torches, thumb screws. Whatever the [redacted] it takes. Rip out their [redacted] and stuff them up their [redacted] if you have to.
The President: (Laughs) Hell, I’d pay money to see something like that.
Director Tenet: Actually sir, we have it on DVD if you’d like to . . .
Vice President: (interrupts) Have you tried [redacted] their families?
Director Tenet: Does anal [redacted] count?
Vice President: I guess. How about [redacted] their [redacted] on their [redacted] until they [redacted] all over their [redacted]?
The President: Ugh. Jeez Dick, that was just downright gross. It’s almost lunch time here.
Vice President: Have you tried LSD?
The President: C’mon Dick, you know that was a long time ago. When I was young and irresponsible, I was . . .
Vice President: Jesus Christ on a [redacted] bicycle, do you ever shut up? [GARBLED SOUNDS]
[BREAK IN TRANSCRIPT. CONVERSATION RESUMES AFTER THE PRESIDENT HAS LEFT THE ROOM]
Vice President: Look, George, the big marketing push for the [redacted] of [redacted] starts after Labor Day, and Scooter says we’ve got [redacted] in the way of evidence on the [redacted]. We need something flashy we can show those [redacted]wits on the intelligence committees. Your people are holding up the [redacted] show here.
Director Tenet: Well, sir. We have identified one enhanced technique that looks promising.
Vice President: Yeah?
Director Tenet: Yes sir. We found it in what appears to be an old interrogation manual from the early days of the Cold War. As you know, many people have a hysterical fear of [redacted] – sewer [redacted] in particular. So, you build a cage that can be strapped to the detainee’s [redacted]. There’s a trap door in the cage, and on the other side of the door you put a bunch of starving [redacted]. Then, you tell the detainee that unless he starts talking, you’ll open the trap door and let the [redacted] eat through his [redacted].
Vice President: That’s [redacted] brilliant.
Director Tenet: Yes sir. Apparently, it worked like a charm the first time it was tried. Guy broke right away. Even gave up his own girlfriend.
Vice President: (Laughs) Can you make one for Powell?
Director Tenet: Um, I don’t quite follow you . . .
Vice President: Never mind. So who’s the sick [redacted] who dreamed up that idea? Is he Pentagon? Contractor? A [redacted] with one of Rumsfeld's [redacted] squads? Guy like that could be useful to have on staff.
Director Tenet: Actually, he’s a Brit, sir. Or was: He died some years ago.
Vice President: Pity. Be nice to deal with a Limey with balls for a change instead of that dip[redacted] Blair. But go ahead and send Addington a copy of the guy's book. Might be some other ideas in there we can steal.
Director Tenet: Yes sir.
Vice President: That reminds me: There’s another one of your [redacted] messes I’ve got to clean up. You know that State Department [redacted] you sent to [redacted] last February to check out the story about the [redacted]? The one who came back and took a [redacted] all over our heads? We understand his [redacted] is working for the agency under non-official cover. What can you tell me about her?
Director Tenet: What would you like to know, sir?
Cheney: Let’s start with [REMAINDER OF TRANSCRIPT REDACTED]